Best Summary of Christianity Ever.

This is the best summary of Christianity I have ever come across. It’s from extian.org, by long time poster Mageth of Internet Infidels Discussion Board.

The Plan of Salvation

(as written by Mageth on Infidels)

God himself created man and woman and placed them in a garden, in “his own image”, but got righteously angry at them when they ate, against his wish, and after being tempted by a talking serpent that god himself had somehow allowed to slither about in the garden, a tasty, beautiful fruit, though he himself had placed it there but neglected to instill in his creations the knowledge of good and evil so that they would know it was wrong to eat it. Being omniscient, of course, he knew all this before he started, but was apparently unable to do anything about it because he had planned it this way from the beginning, and apparently god cannot change anything he already knows, in spite of the fact that he’s omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent.

Later, God himself impregnated a virgin so that he himself could be born a human, a ManGod. This was necessary, apparently, because only his own ManGod blood could appease himself and deliver humans, who he created, and who he knew would muck things up by eating the fruit, from his own righteous anger.

Of course, he waited several thousand years to implement this divine plan, in the meantime taking the righteous action of drowning every creature on the planet except a few he could stuff on a boat. Not to mention handing down a Law that served to further condemn every one of us, and in which Law he himself had them frequently sacrifice animals to appease himself, though he knew the blood of animals didn’t really appease himself.

Much later, god, in a garden, prayed to himself to “take this cup” away from himself, though he himself knew that he himself had planned the coming events from the beginning and knew that not even he himself could save himself, even though he was god and omnipotent, omniscient, etc. Accepting this, he said, in effect, “Not my will, but my will.”

God then sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself. (or had himself sacrificed; not much of a distinction between the two, really) Before dying, he himself asked he himself why he had forsaken himself.

He himself, being dead, then raised himself from the dead less than 40 hours later, though he himself had said he’d be dead for three days and three nights, which he could do because he was still alive, and later he himself pulled himself up into heaven where he himself apparently already was, and where he himself is described as now sitting at the right hand of himself.

He himself then sent himself (or a ghost of himself, if you please) back to earth to be a comfort to us, though he himself is still sitting at the right hand of himself.

And, glory hallelujah, he himself promised that he himself will return someday, though he himself is already here, and will still be there, to snatch up those who believe the god blood sacrifice story he himself told us, and kill the rest of us who don’t believe the god blood sacrifice story, no matter how nice we were otherwise. But, since killing us isn’t enough to appease his righteousness, he himself will then judge us, though according to ManGod he himself will also not judge us, and being a god of love will cast most of us into hell for an eternity of suffering. He has to, of course, because he is a righteous, just god, and can’t figure out a way to save anyone who hasn’t been redeemed by god-blood, even though he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent, and loves us all.

I really need to commit this entire thing to memory. So far as I know, there are no errors in it, “Biblically” speaking, though the tone is of course irreverent. It’s a masterpiece, and the tiny bit more exposure I might give it is all I can do. Thanks Mageth, for writing this gem.

~ by scaryreasoner on November 12, 2007.

33 Responses to “Best Summary of Christianity Ever.”

  1. Wow… I must say that there are a few errors Biblically speaking in that “summary” First of all, you say that God knew what would happen in the garden but was powerless to stop it. Now when God placed man in the garden he gave them Free Will, which is the ability to choose to either go with God or against him. You say that God is all knowing so why did he bother making man in the garden? Now here I think you just missinterperet what Xians mean by all knowing and most of them are too arrogant to explain it. All knowing breaks down into two or three parts. Knowledge of the future,Knowledge of the past, And knowledge of what COULD have happened. We call that last one Molonism. This in essence is saying that God knows what will happen if we make any decision but he leaves the decision up to us. For instance, In the situation of me commenting here, I have several choices in a response, I can either be Condescending and arrogant, or i can speak to you like a fellow person, Each of those will have a different consequence, God knows how it would turn out either way, but he leaves it up to me to pick a path. Secondly you seem to have misguided notions about the Flood, for this I will bring in a saying “for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction” before the flood nearly everyone on earth was doing what ever he felt was right. God then picked the family that was the most righteous and had not turned away from him, gathered all of his animals on the ark and then let the earth get the reaction of completely turning away from God. Now onto the Trinity, here you make statements about God,Christ, and the Holy spirit. Now the way that I have found to best comprehend the trinity is thru a simple triangle. A triangle has 3 sides and yet is one shape, Now consider each line in the triangle a different part of the trinity, each one is a seperate entity so to speak and yetthey are all part of the same “shape”, So when X was praying in Gethsemene he was praying to God the Father, because when X came to earth he became a man, yet he still retained some of his holyness and all of his power. However in humanity we will almost always choose a path that takes the least amount of pain.So when X was praying he was basically saying” If there is any other way then let me take it but if not then I want to go with what you want not me”. As for the 40 hours, I’m not sure where the author got that from, and X said 3days not days and nights. Now for the last paragraph,this portion seems to just be a massive demonstration of demagogury(emotional appealing speech). And the author seems to have Love confused with complacency and carelessness. And he says that God cant figure out another way to save us? He doesn’t need to. God laid out one path and said essentially, this is the only way take it or leave it. People deny God and they spend eternity away from him in eternal torment. I hope that I have cleared this up at least a little bit.David

    • Well, I don’t recall the Bible ever specifically stating Yahweh knows what happens based on every decision. I do recall it sort of stating God knows all, and sort of saying we have free will, maybe, put together i means what you mean, but I opt for literal interpretation. There is a really good quote to describe your post, I can’t remember who said it. ‘Every man is convinced the bible doesn’t mean what it says, and says what he means.’

  2. You’re welcome….

    And thank you for the compliments…

    – Mageth

    ( To witeman0o0…cleared it up? LOL )

  3. Heh. Small internet. 🙂

    Was going to write some responses to whiteman0o0, but, ugh, the literal Flood argument again?

    Anyway, whiteman0o0, you might want to read Matthew 12:40. It does say “three days, and three nights.” I’ll leave it at that for now.

  4. Hmm. I see this post is linked to from a thread on iidb.org.

    Hello, iidb’ers.

    I’m “Self-Banned” over there. Some of you probably remember me anyway.

    This is my tiny little blog, such as it is.

  5. Well considering that this post is merely circular reasoning and clever wordplay and really has no significant impact on anyone who actually has a clue what they believe in im not too worried if you completely disregard my argument, Thats your opinion and I gave it my best shot.David

  6. -David wrote:———————

    Wow… I must say that there are a few errors Biblically speaking in that “summary” First of all, you say that God knew what would happen in the garden but was powerless to stop it. Now when God placed man in the garden he gave them Free Will, which is the ability to choose to either go with God or against him. You say that God is all knowing so why did he bother making man in the garden? Now here I think you just missinterperet what Xians mean by all knowing and most of them are too arrogant to explain it. All knowing breaks down into two or three parts. Knowledge of the future,Knowledge of the past, And knowledge of what COULD have happened. We call that last one Molonism.

    ————————————-

    Most Christians I’ve encountered aren’t “too arrogant” to explain it, they aren’t Molonists, around here, they’re Arminians or Calvinists, usually. Or actually, most of the time, they have no idea what those words mean, as they haven’t thought about it very much at all.

    –David wrote:———————–

    This in essence is saying that God knows what will happen if we make any decision but he leaves the decision up to us.

    ————————————-

    So God knows all the possibilities ahead of time, but not the actual outcome? In that case, he’s not omniscient.

    Or, he does know the particular outcome ahead of time? In that case there’s no free will.

    He cannot both know and not know.

    –David wrote:———————–

    For instance, In the situation of me commenting here, I have several choices in a response, I can either be Condescending and arrogant, or i can speak to you like a fellow person, Each of those will have a different consequence, God knows how it would turn out either way, but he leaves it up to me to pick a path.

    ————————————-

    There is no evidence that free will exists. There is no way to tell the difference between free will, and You only thinking you can choose either option. Not to say everything is predictable — but unpredictable doesn’t get you to free will. A flipping coin (or decaying Uranium atom) is unpredictable, but neither of those things has free will. The example you give, of yourself, choosing one of two options, tells me that you have probably not given the concept of free will very much thought. If you had, you’d realize this is not any sort of evidence for the existence of free will.

    –David wrote:———————–

    Secondly you seem to have misguided notions about the Flood,

    ————————————- The flood never happened. You have a book that claims it did. All the evidence in the world says it did not. It’s just part of the story.

    –David wrote:———————–

    for this I will bring in a saying “for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction”

    ————————————- Saying? Well, thatt’s no mere “saying”, that’s Newton’s third law of motion, and you really miss the point of it if you try to use it this way, but whatever.

    –David wrote:———————–

    before the flood nearly everyone on earth was doing what ever he felt was right. God then picked the family that was the most righteous and had not turned away from him, gathered all of his animals on the ark and then let the earth get the reaction of completely turning away from God.

    ————————————-

    Wow. You think the flood literally, actually occurred, and that Noah was a real guy with a big boat?

    Also, today, and always, everyone everywhere does whatever they think is right. If they thought it was wrong, they wouldn’t do it. For instance, you think that the right thing is what the Bible says is right. The key words in that last sentence are “you think”. So you do whatever you think is right. Just so happens you think that what is right is what the Bible says is right. Theism doesn’t get you away from relativism. It only fools you into thinking you’ve gotten away from it. You haven’t, as your “absolutes” rest on your mere opinion that they are absolutes.

    –David wrote:———————–

    Now onto the Trinity, here you make statements about God,Christ, and the Holy spirit. Now the way that I have found to best comprehend the trinity is thru a simple triangle. A triangle has 3 sides and yet is one shape, Now consider each line in the triangle a different part of the trinity, each one is a seperate entity so to speak and yetthey are all part of the same “shape”, So when X was praying in Gethsemene he was praying to God the Father, because when X came to earth he became a man, yet he still retained some of his holyness and all of his power. However in humanity we will almost always choose a path that takes the least amount of pain.So when X was praying he was basically saying “If there is any other way then let me take it but if not then I want to go with what you want not me”.

    Since I was never indoctrinated into Christianity as a child (though the attempt was made, badly, I might add), to me, on the map of Biblical Absurdities, the Trinity is a minor backwater ( a backwater on the shoals of which many a man’s faith has foundered though). There are far too many things wrong with Christianity for me to get as far along as worrying about how to reconcile the Trinity.

    –David wrote:———————–

    As for the 40 hours, I’m not sure where the author got that from,

    ————————————-

    According to the Bible, Jesus was crucified on a Friday afternoon, and was resurrected by early Sunday morning. Add up the hours. It’s about 40.

    –David wrote:———————–

    and X said 3days not days and nights.

    ————————————-

    You’re mistaken:

    Matthew 12:40″For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the whale’s belly; So shall the Son of Man be three days, and three nights in the heart of the earth.” (Emphasis mine).

    –David wrote:———————–

    Now for the last paragraph,this portion seems to just be a massive demonstration of demagogury(emotional appealing speech).

    ————————————-

    Yeah, religion and faith are so far removed from demagoguery it’s not even funny. *rolls eyes*

    –David wrote:———————–

    And the author seems to have Love confused with complacency and carelessness. And he says that God cant figure out another way to save us? He doesn’t need to.

    ————————————- Not if he doesn’t care what people think of him. He can’t be “good” and behave like a complete jackass. He can’t be “good” by fiat. And before you tell me not to judge God, if you think God is good, you also have judged him, only you’ve (inexplicably, psychotically) arrived at a different verdict.

    –David wrote:———————–

    God laid out one path and said essentially, this is the only way take it or leave it. People deny God and they spend eternity away from him in eternal torment.

    ————————————-

    And there it is. The threat. Believe or else suffer eternal torment, a fate worse than anything imaginable on earth. Such a loving peaceful religion you’ve got there, to be making such threats..

    What evidence do you have that anyone is spending eternity anywhere, much less away from god, in eternal torment, or with god in eternal bliss? You have zero evidence of this. You have a book, which makes some claims about this. But you have zero evidence that anybody experiences anything at all after they’re dead, and every bit of evidence we do have from physics, chemistry, biology, medicine, neuroscience — science in general — says that when we die, that’s it. It’s over, consciusness ceases, and you cease to exist.

    Yet you assert otherwise without even making a token attempt at providing a scrap of evidence. And you expect to be taken seriously, and not dismissed as an blatantly proud ignoramus?

    You have completely missed the point of the essay, so let me spell it out for you.

    The point is, Christianity (and all the Abrahamic religions) make a load of absurd claims, present zero evidence for any of those claims, assert that faith — believing these claims to a degree of certainty unwarranted by the available evidence — is somehow a virtue, and then make a threat, believe or else suffer an eternal torment after you’re dead (this claim also utterly lacking even a shred of supporting evidence).

    You have argued (badly) a few minor points of some of the minor details, but have not addressed the main point — that making absurd claims, providing zero evidence, and threatening people who dare not to believe these absurd claims — provide one with zero reason to take any of it seriously. You seem to completely miss the point.

    –David wrote:———————–

    I hope that I have cleared this up at least a little bit.David

    ————————————-

    Not really, you’re about as good at philosophy as I’ve found the typical Christian to be, which is to say, you’re terrible at it.

    If I seem condescending, it’s because I am. Christianity, and religion in general, has been given a free pass for far too long. It’s been considered impolite to call the patently absurd beliefs what they are: patently absurd. No more free pass. You make stupid assertions, even stupid assertions out of an old book, which many people happen to believe, and I’m going to call them stupid assertions.

  7. Faith is a belief, you don’t need evidence for it because you believe it in your heart. If you don’t believe in any religion, fine. But you cannot disprove a religion, because it’s a belief in truth. What evidence do you have that heaven and hell do not exist? Lack of evidence for the existence of these does not prove they do not exist.

    • But so what if we can’t disprove it? I don’t try and disprove the bible ever, I simply show people why it is so disgusting and offensive. And it is very disturbing. So ok we can’t disprove it, but you can’t disprove the existence of Hogwarts as w are both muggles and we should just have faith that it exists right? That’s where faith gets you my friend

  8. And you can see what I think of the notion of faith right here: https://scaryreasoner.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/on-the-notion-of-faith/

  9. hey, i am not to sure where have been shown this view, or if you came across it your self,but i would be interested to find out more First of all do not make it as if every Christian is the same. Do not punish all of us for the mistakes that some people made and gave themselves the title, “A Christian” if you don’t like the name Christian then call me a relationshipper. I believe in having a relation ship with Christ. The real Christ, i am sorry that he has been portrayed poorly to you but the Christ you describe above is not my Christ. So, first i am not trying to be rude but in the first paragraph you have a mistake. You say god let the snake slither around? The snake did not slither. In fact he was one of the most beautiful creatures in the garden. After his betrayal of god he was punished to slither. Also Adam and Eve did not need to know right and wrong yet. They knew what god told them, and god told them not to eat. This wasn’t a matter of right and wrong but of a matter of doing only what they knew. And the bible talks many times about how god is a trinity. If you keep saying himself and argue that there is no difference than you say George bush is Obama. George is in the Executive branch and Obama is in the Legislative. If you say trinity’s don’t really exist than technically Obama and George are the same person? Now i see that you are a intelligent person so i would assume that you do not make the argument that they are the same person and our government cannot possibly be a trinity without it being totally absurd, so on what grounds do you have to claim that our, Trinity (In the analogy, Our government) is not possible? Please answer, i am not trying to change you just interested, and i would appreciate it if you would not be rude as you were to the other reply’s for i have not in any way been rude to you but instead have respected your beliefs. Thank you, Davy

  10. And just to clear things up Davy is not the same as the David you were speaking to above. Thanks, Davy

  11. Davy, to answer your post….

    I came across http://www.extian.org/home.htm on my own.

    Since I don’t think Christ is actually real, anybody who calls themselves a Christian is a Christian so far as I’m concerned. Your whining that they aren’t “real” Christians is as absurd as one set of astrologers whining that another set of astrologers are “doing it wrong.” They’re all astrologers, and they’re ALL wrong. They’re all Christians, and they’re all wrong.

    Relationshipper, because you have a relationship with Jesus? No, you don’t. You have an imaginary friend with the same name as the imaginary friends of a load of other people, nothing more. Any test which might show the difference between your “real” Jesus and an imaginary friend is waved away by Christians with some lame excuse like “God cannot be tested.” Well, how Conveeeeenient. And now you’re claiming that YOUR imaginary friend Jesus is different than what other people describe.

    In other words, you’re all full of shit.

    As for the snake being allowed to “slither about in the garden,” it’s a figure of speech — the point of the sentence containing that phrase was not that the snake used a particular means of locomotion, the point was that the snake was EVEN PRESENT AT ALL. Way to miss the point there Davy.

    Your “excuse” for God’s actions in the fairy tale regarding Adam and Eve and the punishment for eating the fruit despite that they had no way of knowing it was wrong to disobey God (them not having the knowledge of good and evil and all) makes no sense. You say “it was a matter of doing only what they knew.” Yes… and? How does that solve the problem that the Bible makes God out to be a total dickhead asshole in this particular instance? It doesn’t.

    The “trinity” concept is asserted in the Bible — asserted — but there is no evidence for any such assertion. It is absurd to make an assertion like that when there is no evidence for it. Yes, there are three branches of the U.S. government, the executive, the judicial, and the legislative. I can go and find many people whose jobs involve working in any of those. There is some evidence that this is this is the case. However, there is zero evidence for any gods existence, much less any three-part-in-one god with the specific attributes the Christian god is asserted to possess. A ridiculous, unevidenced assertion is not an argument.

    Religion does not deserve any respect. I do respect the right of any person to believe whatever it is that they are going to believe anyhow. But, the beliefs themselves are fair game. The price of ridiculous beliefs is ridicule.

  12. god sucks

  13. aww just shut up all those who have disrespect towards Christian. If you are, than good. if you ain’t just leave. so simple. we are free people. don’t point accusations. thanks!

  14. Oh, “we are a free people”, but you want me to “shut up”, and “leave.” I don’t think you get what being a “free people” is all about. We are a free people, and I’m allowed to express my opinion even if my opinion is that your opinion is idiotic. So no, I will not shut up, and I will not leave, you hypocrite.

    If you can defend Christianity, fine, then do so. It’s not my fault that Christianity is so obviously stupid that those who do believe it are incapable of showing how it isn’t idiotic.

  15. it is amazing how narrow-minded you are without even realizing it.

  16. Calling me narrow minded isn’t going make Christianity any less stupid.

  17. Well after much “anaylyzing and studying of this post and the comments left, I have decided to leave a reply. I finished reading and was very intrigued about the point of views shown here. Now before I share my opinion I must point out the 3 main people leaving comments about this post. “David”(who is actually whiteman0o0), “Davey”(who is not the same person as David), and “scaryreasoner”. After reading this I must applaud and recognize scaryreasoners’ point of view and I do agree strongly with the information is given to us from scaryreasoner, he gives us facts and what proof we are all given on Earth. I also found it humorious that David seems to literally believe that a man and his wife and family found every animal in the world (a male and female, for reproduction of course!) and survived a vicious flood that killed everyone on earth. Hey Davey! Since your a “true Christian” as what many like you call yourselves you believe the word of the Bible. The word of the Bible does say the earth is a mere thousand years old. Im sure you may also believe Noah brought the Tyranasouras Rex and the velociraptor on board his wooden ship also? I must also assume that you believe God gave us all the discoveries of other existences and reasoning against the Bible and God let those discoveries exist so the he and other Christians courld recognize the difference between God’s wise men(men in the Bible and those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and spread the word of the Gospel.) and the difference of a mere sinner like myself? From the comments left by scaryreasoner I assume he , as, I personally view Christianity as a problem our society and world has not truly analyzed and will soon discover is a mockery some people who were too busy being blinded by their other distractions , so they chose to believe something that promised to bring them to a better place after they follow his rules on earth. That is what some Christians believed. Even truths admitted by Christians is that God’s have always existed, or at least the belief in some type of higher power exist and the worship of a higher power/ God does exist in almost all past Eras or Dynasties or time periods or whatever you wish to call our history. What makes the words of a man(who is not proven to have lived) true and are recorded in a book which is over 20 centuries old! Again I am going in depth with things which should be discussed under other circumstances. Blankly, I must ask any Christian, if I walked up to you and said me and my best friend Pikachu have been talking and he told me that he is God and I must honor his rules but you can’t see him, only I can see him but he is King and he is righteous and he will show much wrath upon us if we don’t surrender to his power. I do believe you would see me to be quite insane. But hey, maybe I’ll write some stories about me and Pikachu and why he is so amazing and all the promises he gives me! I may be going into way to much depth but if you just pause and think it all makes sense. I do very much agree with scaryreasoner. The bottomline which cannot be ignored is that human life is real. Why believe and waste time on things that I can not be positive is for real. The only thing that should matter to those of us who plan on making something out of our one chance should spend time thinking of how us human are simply given the proof we all are given. Christians do in fact believe in something which is not proven. If you ask a Christian what Christianity is they will say it is from the Bible. If the Bible was written by a few chosen people who had the “privledge” to speak to a God who still cannot be proven to exist. The Bible is what Christians do believe they are given and that is all the proof they need. Most Christians also like to say their proof is in their heart and God touched them inside their heart. Well, that also cannot still not be proven. I can only hope someone will read these posts between the people here and see just how foolish Christianity is. All David did by replying was help scaryreasoners reason for saying what he said. I found it quite funny that David (under the username “whitesnake”) came into this thread being the guy who knows all about Christianity as he obviously seems to think he is , scaryreasoner who is obviously disagreeing with the Bible simply put David to shame… the funny thing is that scaryreasoner proved that David was talking about things he retrieved from his Bible and still scaryreasoner said no, mageth was correct it was 40 hours ect. Scaryreason knew about the Bible and used once again the proof we are given to prove his point. I enjoyed this and thank you scaryreasoner I do indeed like your reasoning. Get back to me please.

    Logan

  18. I think this is brilliant xD I’m an aetheist so this was quite funny to me ^^

  19. Narrow minded people aren’t really trying to prove to christians that christianity is “stupid”…all they’re trying to do (and this blogger is trying to do) is subconsciously reassure THEMSELVES that christianity is stupid…it’s just a reality crutch; people trying to make sure that it makes sense that they don’t need christianity

  20. *snicker*

  21. Aside from arguing about some of the factual elements of the bible (ie. the flood, the age of the earth, whether it’s true that unbelievers will go to hell) are there any other messages from the bible, messages that are positive? The ideas in the bible have inspired people to go to war and kill others. The ideas in the bible have also been wrongly used for political and monetary reasons.

    But has the story in the bible also inspired people to do amazing things and helped millions of people? I do not think you will be able to see anything positive from religion because everyone who writes against religion here writes with such certainty and anger almost as bad as religious fanatics. Do you really believe that there are no benefits to practicing a spiritual life?

  22. There really are not very many good ideas in the Bible, from what I can see. The moral lessons it teaches are for the most part, abhorrent.

    As to whether there is any benefits to practicing a “spiritual life,” I don’t know exactly what that means, but I do know this:

    I won’t pretend to believe something I don’t think is true. It doesn’t matter whether there are benefits if, in order to get those benefits, you have to trick yourself into believing something which isn’t true.

    I’m not one of those people who doesn’t give a shit whether the things I believe are true or not, or who doesn’t give a shit if I believe something to a degree of certainty which exceeds what is warranted by the evidence.

    When you talk about the benefits of a spiritual life you are either exercising the logical fallacy known as “appeal to consequences,” or else you are attempting to persuade not by reason, but by bribery.

    Doesn’t work that way, sorry.

  23. You sound angry . But you also make some good points. So as long as we can both remain civil I would like to continue our conversation.

    Yes I agree there is quite a bit that seems abhorrent. But there are also some positive messages like “love your neighbor as yourself.” You do not have to believe that you should kill witches, as the old testament directs, in order to believe “love others.” The fact that there may be more abhorrent messages than positive messages, does not negate or invalidate the positive ones.

    Can you believe that loving others should be one of your highest goals? I do not think I can prove that “love” should be valued above all else. It is not something that is even in the realm of scientific proof. It’s a choice and I do not think I have to deny “truth” to believe it (although this could be open for discussion). I don’t have to accept creationism to believe that loving others should be highly valued.

    Here is another few positive messages or good advice (if you need me to make references to the bible just let me know, although I am not very good at quoting exact verses, but if the following ideas sound very foreign, I’ll make an attempt to direct you to approximate places in the bible):

    1. Don’t blindly follow religious leaders. (Jesus seemed to dislike self-righteous religious leaders, and was the only group of people who he did not seem to accept).

    2. When you do something wrong, admit your are wrong, ask for forgiveness and then stop feeling guilty.

    3. Forgive others.

    4. Be grateful for what you have.

    5. Don’t treasure material things, treasure relationships.

    6. Help those who are less fortunate than you, not just to help them, but also for the development of your character (that last part is implied rather than directly stated).

    7. Don’t gossip or complain, nor say anything that will ruin another’s reputation. If you have a problem with a person speak to that person directly.

    8. Release anger in your heart, and try try to understand others.

    9. Don’t think about getting things that are not yours or be envious of what others have.

    10. Be more concerned with your own faults rather than complaining about the faults of others. (This one alone, would probably save many relationships).

    11. Be concerned about the struggles of others.

    12. Take care of yourself (take a day off where you do no work)

    13. Don’t think you know everything (In other words be a little humble.)

    14. Praying can give you emotional strength.

    So to respond to your confusion to my reference to a “spiritual life”: valuing the above beliefs and trying to act upon them is a large part of following a spiritual life.

    I would write more, but I think already I may be incurring your wrath, so I’ll stop now.

  24. The positive messages in the Bible are not anything so special that the Bible itself is needed or even particularly remarkable.

    Jesus was the biggest dickhead in the Bible. Prior to Jesus, there was no notion of infinite torture after you’re dead. (Read end of Matthew, ch. 25.)

    Quite simply, the Bible would be irrelevant, if it weren’t for the fact that so many idiots think there’s something in there that’s worth a shit that makes it better than say, Huckleberry Finn.

    If I sound angry, well, two things: 1) the internet doesn’t do a good job of conveying tone of voice, and 2) living in a world filled to the brim with complete fucking morons who do not seem to ever cease amazing me with their ever more astonishing idiocy will make a person somewhat exasperated. I mean for fuck’s sake, GW Bush got into office TWICE. Morons.

  25. Also, what does using the word “spiritual” add to what you’re talking about?

    To me, it says you’re a vague goofball, and nothing else.

    Spiritual is a word that subtracts precision and adds murkiness. It’s worse than useless.

  26. It seems that you have decided that there can not possibly be anything worthwhile in religion. It seems like you think only idiots, goofballs (and the like) will believe in any form of religion. If in the next day you decide to open your mind to understanding a point of view other than your own, I will try to respond. Bye.

    PS: I can’t believe Bush was elected twice either.
    PPS: Universalists do not believe anyone is going to eternal hell.

  27. “open my mind?”

    The plaintive cry of those who have no argument worth a damn for their views.

    I understand the point of view of the religious just fine — it’s the point of view of the badly mistaken.

    Universalists don’t believe in hell, but Jesus apparently did. You seem to talk of not throwing the Bible out because it contains a few unremarkable good things. The MAIN POINT of the Bible is, in fact, idiotic and horrible. I say, something which is mainly idiotic and horrlbie, but which contains a few unremarkable and inoffensive ideas easily found elsewhere should be tossed aside, and without hesitation. By your mealy mouthed refusal to toss it, you enable the idiots who take it seriously. Idiots like this.

    The Bible has its place, and it should be put there. Its place is the nearest trash can.

  28. Wow, quite a squabble of sorts here. I would argue that scary reasoner is laying down some serious factual smack down on Christianity and religion, and I would like to say that I agree fully with everything he has said about religion, with regards to anything in the bible being total malarkey. I recently had an in depth discussion with my Mormon missionary friend about his beliefs and why he believed so strongly that he was planning on going on his “mission” for god. Although Mormonism is at an entirely new level of crazy, we talked mostly about the things Glen has been speaking of; Religion bringing good will, happiness in community and family, good guidelines for life and so fourth. He argued that his religion is what brought these things into his life, and although that may be true for a few people who have used religion to bring them away from bad times or experiences, most people who are religious just use this as a last ditch excuse to sanctify their belief. But when it comes down to it, all these things we are taught through life experiences and living in a moral society, not through some bogus book from a an age past which should have no relevance in our current day society. Now I think that religion is not a bad thing, but it has definitely not helped our species advance forward in any manner. If anything, it is an anchor from times past when we needed some way to explain volcanoes raining lava down on us and solar eclipses scaring the be-jezus out of us. Religious was a device born from human fear, fear in what we did not know, and so we created these assortment of gods that we built up in our imaginations to be real to explain why these things happened. Then as religion evolved things like “heaven” and “hell” came about, just adding on to the fear factor of religion. The idea that “Well if I don’t believe in god, I am going to go to hell” is most likely at the root of many peoples belief in god.
    So, if your going to believe in religion go right ahead, your just scared of going to hell, that’s the only real reason you could justify your faith over non faith. People who don’t believe in god live just as great of lives if not more productive and more interesting lives than those who do believe in god after all. Religion has its pro’s, it brings people together in community and promotes good will, but it brings just as much if not much more pain, suffering and ill judgment to your fellow man to the world.

    My assessment: we would be much better off without religion and many of the crazy people that think they have a magical friend named “God”

  29. Another great summary of Christianity, but from quite another – practical point of view, is the “Victims of the Christian Faith” list, easily found by a web search (http://www.truthbeknown.com/victims.htm for example).

    What is presented here is the best view I ever seen of the “Great Book” itself. Every time I tried to read it I ended up with feeling of limitless stupidity and constant self-contradiction of the text. But I never had a good chance to summarize and analyse all that thing.

    The other point of view which made me an doubtless atheist is that the (every) religion itself is a contagious disease – it infects, it subordinates, and than have a victim to reproduce itself, by infecting other potential victims. The same set of sure techniques is used by rabies virus to have dogs reproduce it.

    And even more. Religions do belong to Darwin’s evolution, as you can see by dividing, mutating, extinct and survival of sects. This proves that they have no relation to gods and truth, and that their only driving force is self-reproduction.

    Good luck!

  30. this post was posted on FB and I’ll be forever grateful for it! i am a FORMER believer and i believed the absurdities of christianity and its holey book! thank you, scaryreasoner for this eloquently hilarious post! #GodIsNOTGreat

  31. […] is flamethrower aimed at me, and if the trigger gets pulled, I deserve it. Keep going, Elio! Credit for additional text __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: